Hello, you have reached Ankylosing Spondylitis, how may I help you? I would like to speak to your complaint department, please. Why? It won’t help you.

I struggle everyday trying so hard not to complain about my illness, aches, or pains. I try not to share my fears and concerns about my future. I do my best to keep it all inside for several reasons, I don’t want to sound like the whining ungrateful person that people would perceive me to be, plus I don’t want to be hurt or consumed with anger when they don’t respond the way I need them to. When I get to the point that I am over whelmed with my pains and fears, I rant and rave when I am alone. I scream at the walls how unfair it is. How tired I am of hurting. I break down and sob consumed with fear about my future.  Thank God the walls of my home can’t talk, people would be shocked at the despair that fills my heart.

Today I would like to bring a voice to my complaints at this given time in my life. Today is June 12, 2011 and it is 11:39 a.m.

If there was an 800 number to call , here is what I would say.

I have a sharp searing  pain in the mid part of my back on the left side.

My chest is killing me over my right breast, like it is on fire.

My feet are tingling as if they are on fire and throbbing.

The bottom of my feet have sharp pains in them when I try to step on them.

My buttocks are cramping as if I have been doing a million squats today.

My back is  numb and burning down the spine.

My hips have sharp stabbing pains in them even when I am not moving.

The top of my right foot is hurting tremendously and when I touch it, the pain is so severe I have tears in my eyes.

My hands are numb as if they are asleep and I struggle with typing.

I have a knot in my stomach between my ribs that is causing me pain. When I try to lean over it goes into cramps, like Charlie horses, and makes it hard to breathe.

My neck is throbbing and I can feel my heart beat in it, which is an odd feeling.

Looking over my list of complaints at this moment I think I would actually hang up and not file a complaint, it seems to be a tolerable day after all.